Tag Archives: virgin

My First Fantasy Football Draft

27 Aug

You may have noticed I was missing in action yesterday. My absence was in part because of recovering from a night of drunk debauchery but also because I was preparing for my first ever Fantasy Football Draft. Like any good student I had waited till the last-minute to study. A guy friend, who has mastered fantasy gave me this advice:

1. Draft Philadelphia Eagles’ running back LeSean McCoy first. I was pick number 4, McCoy went as number 2 in our draft. So  I failed at that one.

2. Make sure to get the San Francisco 49ers as your Defense Strategy. It took me about half-way through the draft to figure out how to pick at team for defense strategy so I failed at one and evened up with the Pittsburgh Steelers.

3. Whatever you do don’t draft Dallas Cowboys’ quarterback Tony Romo. Okay this one I definitely didn’t do. I instead went with Philadelphia Eagles’ quarterback Michael Vick.

My grade so far would definitely be an C.

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Beware the Media Beast Might Bite You

9 Aug

We all know in today’s media centric world it is easy to go from everyone’s favorite to everyone’s least favorite. It is especially easy if you don’t live up to their expectations. Lolo Jones has been feeding the media beast ever since her sit down interview where she revealed she’s a 30-year old virgin. It didn’t take long for the media to follow her every move. But putting yourself in the spotlight has it pitfalls. Jones failed to medal in Tuesday’s 100-meter hurdles. Two days before the competition even started the New York Times was comparing her to Anna Kournikova saying she was known for her looks and not her talent.

I have to admit I am constantly annoyed at female sports celebrities like Nascar’s Dana Kilpatrick who gets more coverage than equally talented male counterparts just for having boobs. The over coverage of Jones, who finished 7th in the 2008 Beijing Olympics, seemed a little crazy. I mean should we really be interested in someone because they are a hot virgin?

Although I am sad that Jones is experiencing this downfall in the media. I kind of think you bring it on yourself. I mean how many sponsorship deals did Jones get for making herself into a celebrity. I definitely saw way more of Jones in the lead up to London than fellow American hurdlers- Dawn Harper and Kellie Wells. Harper won silver in the 100-meter hurdles and Wells won bronze. And despite that the media is still talking about Jones. Wells even revealed her troubling past about being raped by her mother’s boyfriend who was later killed in a car accident along with Wells’ mother and the media still didn’t latch on. I guess a 30-year old virgin is more interesting than a girl who overcame rape to go to the Olympics.

-M

 

 

 

Old Man Verse Virgin: Wimbledon Showdown

6 Jul

One thing is clear whomever wins Wimbledon this SUNDAY will be making history this year. Andy Murray will be making history for England being the first Brit to win since 1936. It’s kind of ironic that they hold this event yet seems to kind of suck at it. Murray advanced today after beating Jo-Wilfried Tsonga 6-3, 6-4, 3-6, 7-5 on Friday in the semifinals. Murray has never won a final before so he’s virgin. And for the country of England he definitely needs to get his cherry popped.

He will be facing fellow history maker and old man Roger Federer. I use the term old-man loosely since he is only 30-years old. Federer beat defending champ Novak Djokovic 6-3, 3-6, 6-4, 6-3. This is Federer’s 8th time in a Wimbledon final. And he’s won 6 times so far and looking to make it 7.

So the question becomes who do you support? Do you support the guy whose done it 6 times or the guy whose never done it? Personally I think we should bandwagon behind Murray. Poor Britain that host this thing year after year to keep losing. With that said I kind of think Federer has got this one in the bag. Murray has only played in 3 major finals and 2 of them against Federer. And Federer won. So it’s not looking promising.

-M
 

Let the Sweeping Begin: Heat Win, 93-79

28 May

The Miami Heat as expected beat the Boston Celtics for Game 1 Monday night in Miami. The Celtics were keeping up for the first half but slowly went down hill in the third quarter. At this point all you can hope is that the Celtics give it their best and try keep some of their dignity in this series. For the Celtics Kevin Garnett was trying to be the whole team but it just didn’t work. He scored 23 points and had 10 rebounds. Poor recovering Ray Allen couldn’t make a free throw. And don’t even get me started on their lack of defense and guarding. My message to the Celtics would be, “Yes Miami is big and strong but don’t be scared to get in there.” The Celtics did keep the Heat from making as many 3 pointers but then seemed to open wide for them to come in and dunk.

LeBron James scored 32 points and had 13 rebounds. Right behind him was Dwanye Wade who scored 22 points, 10 of them in the 4th quarter alone. There was sold support for the Heat from conference final virgin Shane Battier who put up 10 points and 10 rebounds.

This is going to be short and not so exciting sweet series if the Celtics don’t bump things up a notch.

-M

 

The 29-Year-Old Virgin

23 May

Ladies and gentleman, we have a treat for you tonight. Seldom spotted in the wild, we have come across a rare breed. The virgin professional athlete. *Cue Wild Kingdom theme music*

Tebow is not the only one saving himself for marriage. Hurdling star Lolo Jones said she is remaining a virgin for her future husband during an interview on Real Sports. Jones, 29, said staying a virgin has been harder than graduating college and training for the Olympics.

She originally revealed this fun fact on Twitter, which is universally recognized as the best place to search for a hook-up husband.

While nobody ever thought Britney was a virgin back in the day, it is somehow more believable to me that an athlete like Jones is. After all, a successful athlete’s top priority should be their game. Maybe Jones just isn’t a good multi-tasker.

I have to wonder, is Lolo drawing attention to herself for publicity, or because 30 is right around the corner and all the pent-up sexual energy is constantly on her mind?

-K

Oh Tebow It’s Just A Little Skin

21 May

Tim Tebow is requesting that a photo of him and cast member from Rock of Ages be taken down off Twitter. Some of the actresses are showing a little skin and he wants it to be clear that he doesn’t support that. Like he told Jockey, “I’ll be in your ads just not in my underwear.” I’m not sure how you sell underwear without showing it but whatever. I think he is just opposed to the fact that the actresses are dressed a little porno like not that hot. Because I googled Tebow and bikini (shockingly no photoshop liking of him in one) and found these photos of Tebow happily surrounded by bikini babes. To that I say as a Christian shouldn’t you love all half naked women equally hot or not? Also ironically the media probably would have missed this photo if you hadn’t called our attention to it, thanks for that.

-M

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Fake Tebow: He Goes Everywhere With You

2 May

I can’t can believe this actually happened. Iowa teen, Rachel Bird, wanted to go to prom with Tim Tebow. She thinks he is cute, they are both virgins, and she likes that he is Christian. Sounds like the perfect match, minus the age difference. Bird wrote to Tebow on Twitter but alas got no response. Instead of finding a good Christian boy in Iowa Bird decided to take a cardboard cut out of Tebow with her to prom. At the prom the other girls wanted to dance with her man. I think this girl is on to something. Maybe all single girls could use a fake Tebow. Fake Tebow will never leave, he cute, and just like the real Tebow he will not sleep with you.

Something needs to get on this.

-M

 

Tim Tebow is a Virgin, I’m the Pope

26 Apr

I think we all remember when Britney Spears was claiming she was a virgin and we all know how that turned out. I think any celebrity claims to be a virgin is either the purest person in the world or a liar. The newest Jet’s back-up quarter back, Tim Tebow, is claiming that he is saving himself for marriage. Tebow who has expressed his Christianity publically, literally in his face paint, is in for a wild ride. A controversial website that hooks up people with affairs if putting a bounty on Tebow’s virginity. The site, http://www.ashleymadison.com, is claiming to pay anyone who snags Tebow’s cherry $1 million dollars.

I just have a few follow-up questions for the http://www.ashleymadison.com:

1. Say someone rounds 2nd base with Tebow, how much do you get for that? Maybe half a mil.

2. Does it count if you marry him first?

3. What kind of proof does someone me need to provide to prove they scored Tebow? Are we talking a sex tape or will photos do?

4. If Tebow is lying about his virginity does the girl who already took it get the $1 million?

5. Can you help us publicize our site?  Because you have probably gotten a lot of hits from this absurd bet.

-M