Tag Archives: sex

The Reality Show I Can’t Wait For

14 Aug

We all know how much everyone loves or loves to hate on swimmer Ryan Lochte. As it turns out that is the perfect combination needed for a reality star. For evidence consider how many Kardashian love/haters there are in the world. Lochte has been offered to star in three different reality shows. Although nothing is confirmed I can only hope that his mother is a major part of the show. Any mom who is willing to openly express her son’s love for a one-night stand is perfect for reality stardom.

Lochte has already expressed his willingness to go on “Dancing with the Stars”. Michael Phelps has also expressed interested in the show. Leaving the media to salivate over the idea of another Phelps/Lochte showdown. While Phelps has all the time in the world to work on reality television Lochte is still training for the Olympics in Rio 2016. So I can only imagine any show about Lochte’s life is going to involve a lot of time in the pool. Lochte needs to keep swimming to keep his sponsors happy. Fortune Magazine estimates that Lochte will be making $2.3 million in endorsements this year.

 

But with Lochte incredible hotness . . . I think I could watch him do almost anything well except for peeing in the pool. This is just nasty.

-M

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In Case You Missed It: Ronda Rousey on Conan

13 Aug

While we have all been distracted by the Olympic regular sports have continued on. MMA fighter/Kardashian hater Ronda Rousey is preparing to defend her Strikeforce women’s bantamweight title(between 126-135 pounds). The 135 pound Rousey will take on 135 pound Sarah Kaufman, Saturday August 18th from Valley View Casino Center in San Diego. It will be broadcast on Showtime for those of you who are interested in watching the action.

Kaufman is a former champ but if I were her I’d be worried because none of Rousey’s fights have made it past the first round. Rousey is famous for ending her fights with submission using the arm bar giving her the nickname of the “arm collector.” Rousey also told Conan that she thinks sex before a fight is a good thing for women. She should have no trouble getting dates after gracing the cover of ESPN’s the Body Issue.

-M

Sex and the Olympics

4 Aug

I posted forever ago an article about how Olympics athletes are sexing it up at the Olympic Village in London. I think sex is the best thing these athletes could do because they definitely have some tension to release. Who knows how many past hook-ups have helped athletes claim the gold. So how much sex is happening in London? There is no sure fire way to tell who is hooking up with whom but we do know that 100,000 condoms have been ordered for the Olympics.  I really hope that they are getting the good condoms, none of the health center cheap shit. Otherwise there might be some unexpected Olympic babies.

Ryan Lochte has been quoted as saying that 70 to 75 percent of Olympians are hooking-up. We all know that Lochte is contributing to that since his mother has said that he enjoys a good one-night stand. Luckily, the athletes have access to unlimited MacDonald’s food for that post-hook-up bite to eat.

-M

Yes, athletes are having sex at the Olympics

19 Jul

I always suspected this was going on. Article to come soon about people we hope hook-up.
-M

Michael Phelps Bubble Boy

8 May

As we get closer to the summer Olympics the coverage of swimmer Michael Phelps has gone through the roof. If you don’t remember he is that guy who won 8 gold medals in Bejing four years ago. Still don’t remember him . . . he that guy who got caught taking a hit of bong that everyone made a really big deal about. He lost his deal with Kellogg and was suspended from swimming for 3 months. Apparently Kellogg didn’t see much value in the whole pot smoking muchie demographic. Anyways that story is so 3 years ago and now people sponsors are back to being obsessed with Phelps.

We have learned some interesting things about Phelps recently when he sat down with 60 minutes Anderson Cooper. The first is that he keeps his gold medals in a gold make-up case. I am not sure what is weirder about that, that he doesn’t understand display cases or that he owns a gold make-up case. But if that weren’t weird enough, he also sleeps in a high-altitude chamber. The chamber simulates what it is like to sleep the equivalent of 8,500 to 9,000 feet above sea level. It apparently improves his performance, as if he needs that kind of help. I had always assumed that he slept in a really big bath tub just doing laps all night long.

Phelps refused to take Cooper into the chamber on television. Which lead me to wonder did he not clean his room before the 60 minutes crew showed up? Did he leave some joints unmentionables out? Once he cleaned up his room he tweeted the photo of the chamber.

Apparently a lot of athletes are secretly going home and sleeping in these chambers. I just have a few questions for the makers of this chamber, Hypoxico (the answers are not on the site, I already investigated):

1. Can I use the chamber to get drunker? How long do I have to be in there before one drink=three drinks?

2. What is sex like in the chamber?

3. What would happen if someone smoked pot in the chamber?

-M

Tim Tebow is a Virgin, I’m the Pope

26 Apr

I think we all remember when Britney Spears was claiming she was a virgin and we all know how that turned out. I think any celebrity claims to be a virgin is either the purest person in the world or a liar. The newest Jet’s back-up quarter back, Tim Tebow, is claiming that he is saving himself for marriage. Tebow who has expressed his Christianity publically, literally in his face paint, is in for a wild ride. A controversial website that hooks up people with affairs if putting a bounty on Tebow’s virginity. The site, http://www.ashleymadison.com, is claiming to pay anyone who snags Tebow’s cherry $1 million dollars.

I just have a few follow-up questions for the http://www.ashleymadison.com:

1. Say someone rounds 2nd base with Tebow, how much do you get for that? Maybe half a mil.

2. Does it count if you marry him first?

3. What kind of proof does someone me need to provide to prove they scored Tebow? Are we talking a sex tape or will photos do?

4. If Tebow is lying about his virginity does the girl who already took it get the $1 million?

5. Can you help us publicize our site?  Because you have probably gotten a lot of hits from this absurd bet.

-M

Dorrell on Paid Leave!?!

13 Apr

Let me get this straight coach Bobby Petrino gets fired for having a consensual affair with Jessica Dorrell but she gets put on paid leave? Am I the only person who finds this to be wrong. We now know that Dorrell slept her way into a $55,000 a year gig with the football team. I think on those grounds alone she should be fired. Not only that put she is getting paid leave for a job that she just started on March 28th. Her job is to work with recruits and plan visits, etc. I can’t imagine too many mom’s of football players wanted their sons to be dealing with Petrino’s former mistress. Can someone explain why she hasn’t been fired?

When accepting the job Dorrell signed a letter that help her accountable to the rules and ethics of the University, can you see the irony? We also learned today that Petrino is not appealing his firing, meaning he is not going after the $18 million he would have made if he continued out his contract. I am not shocked by this seeing as how they have a rock solid case for firing him.