Tag Archives: Dallas Cowboys

The Cowboys Are Strict Parents

27 Aug

Dallas Cowboys receiver Dez Bryant is going to be under lock and key. Bryant was arrested back in July for a Class A misdemeanor for assaulting his mother. Apparently there was an argument and he pushed her. She didn’t not need to go to the hospital but the police were still called. Although this was Bryant’s first arrest he previous had an altercation in a nightclub in Miami and was also banned from a mall for bad language and sagging pants. The Cowboys are taking no chances on him getting into the trouble again.

The 23-year old will be adhering to some new rules. Here is what he must do:

1. Attend weekly counseling sessions.

2. Have a full-time security detail. They will be with him all the time: practices, games, lunch with his grandma.

3. Cannot consume alcohol or go to strip clubs.

4. He has a 12am curfew every night.

So basically Bryant is like a 15-year old kid. But on the bright side at least the Cowboys care enough to give him rules. When Chad Johnson hit his wife the Miami Dolphins just sent him packing. And he does get a much bigger salary than the average teenager with a contract of $1.34 million yearly.

-M

 

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My First Fantasy Football Draft

27 Aug

You may have noticed I was missing in action yesterday. My absence was in part because of recovering from a night of drunk debauchery but also because I was preparing for my first ever Fantasy Football Draft. Like any good student I had waited till the last-minute to study. A guy friend, who has mastered fantasy gave me this advice:

1. Draft Philadelphia Eagles’ running back LeSean McCoy first. I was pick number 4, McCoy went as number 2 in our draft. So¬† I failed at that one.

2. Make sure to get the San Francisco 49ers as your Defense Strategy. It took me about half-way through the draft to figure out how to pick at team for defense strategy so I failed at one and evened up with the Pittsburgh Steelers.

3. Whatever you do don’t draft Dallas Cowboys’ quarterback Tony Romo. Okay this one I definitely didn’t do. I instead went with Philadelphia Eagles’ quarterback Michael Vick.

My grade so far would definitely be an C.

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